i'msobadatsex

So my best friend and I were house-sitting in the summer and one night we had two girls over and drank. He was all over the one girl all night, and she got pretty into him as the night went on.  But the other girl was an ice queen, so I peace to a computer and start inviting other girls. I invite some random over, start macking her on the couch with said ice queen on it, she leaves. I take the girl upstairs, and I rail her on the parents bed of the house we're housesitting, then on the hallway floor, then out on the balcony. After this, my drunk level goes down a bit and I realize "oh god, what the shit am I doing?"  So I make an excuse about her having to leave, and she wants me to walk her home, (she lives less than five minutes) and while I would in most instances, not this time. I go back downstairs where my best friend and this girl are supposed to be, I notice they're not in the hangout room.  So I kick open the door to the teenage daughters room in this house, and there they are, both naked in the bed, she's on top of him. May I note, this would be the second girl he's ever had sex with. (I guess they were JUST seconds from insertion) So while a good friend would apologise and peace and be happy for his buddy. I run in, jump on the bed, scream loudly and just totally slay the mood, I then turn off the lights and leave. I go upstairs and chill on msn for like ten minutes, before descending to the basement again. I enter the room, and they're in the EXACT same position as before, seconds from insertion. I do the exact same thing as before, jump around, scream loudly, and just be generally obnoxious. Best part: I turn off the lights and close the door, but rather than leaving, I lay down on the floor quietly. They have the initial awkward converstation "Oh he's a jerk, whatever, it doesn't matter" and he's trying SO hard just to not make her leave. He's "Oh come on i know mike, he'd never do it again, I promise, he's just trying to be spiteful to me, I know it, I promise." She's unsure, but after a little more convincing, she gives in, and I hear the macking start. So I start crawling towards the bed, and they stop, I hear her voice "Wait....I THINK HE'S ON THE FLOOR" He jumps up "NO FUCKING WAY, THERE'S NO WAY HE'S THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE." I get up, jump around and run out. He chases after me naked "YOU DID THIS TO ME, WHY, WHY!!!" So I bike to McDonalds, got a mcchicken and a big mac, ate them both in the parking lot, biked halfway home, puked, and then went home, because I know he'd do something awful to me if I stayed there.  I'm so bad at sex.