i'msobadatsex

So my boyfriend and I decided have been together for while now. We were fooling around one day after school, and decided to take it to my parents room. After the sex we were too distracted to remember the condom wrapper on the table. Needless to say, my parents found out I was no longer a virgin. I'm SO bad at sex!

I was at a house party with friends having the time of my life, dancing up a storm. Somewhere between my fifth or sixth drink, this cute guy started grinding up on me. Things got pretty hot, so we snuck off into a bathroom. A bit of foreplay and making out later and suddenly we were having sex on the floor. Unfortunately, he wasn't very good... so we tried a few things before he finally admitted he might be too drunk to finish. Looking relatively smug, he then added, "Not so bad for my first time, right?".It was my first and only one night stand and I unknowingly took his virginity. I'm so bad at sex.

After prom, I was getting hot and heavy with my girlfriend in my 1982 Dodge Dakota.  After making out for an hour, she offered me a handjob.  Nothing like this had ever happened to me so I got excited. Only until she told me she had cotton mouth and couldn't spit on my dick.  Sadly, I had cottonmouth as well because I was so nervous.  I got c-blocked by cottonmouth and failed to get any ass on prom night.  I'm so bad at sex

We waited until New Year's Eve to take my viriginity. She'd had sex before, and wanted my 'first time' to be special - which I couldn't have given a flying fuck about. I just wanted to get the job done. She set up candles in the room, and made a mix tape, and took everything real slow. She started by giving me a blow job, hoping to knock one out first so I'd last longer, according to her. But when I blew, she pointed my dick the wrong way and I shot myself in the face. On top of that my family and friends kept calling the house incessantly. Between the ringing phone and the load I just took up the nose, I wasn't really in the mood to keep going. We ended up doing it three days later when everyone was out of the house. I lasted all of three thrusts. I'm so bad at sex.

Me and my girlfriend decided to finally have sex after dating for about 7 months, and I was really excited to lose my virginity to her even though she had already had sex.  Her grandmother lived with her in her parents house and her room was connected to the basement.  The basement also happened to be the place where we always fooled around.  I was at her house late at night and we were finally having sex and all of the sudden my girlfriend says something to me and jumps off me as the lights come on in the basement.  Her grandmother walks into the room, looks at us standing there naked and continues on to her bedroom. The night I lost my virginity was coincidentally the night that I got the worst blue balls of my life. I'm so bad at sex.

One time I was with this guy I liked. Anyways, I ordered italian food, and they said it would take an hour and a half to be delivered. He jumped in the shower, and I decided to join him. I got a condom for him to wear and we started to have sex. Literally 15 seconds in, the doorbell rings and it turns out the food came 45 minutes early. This was my first time. My first time lasted 15 seconds. I'm so bad at sex.

When I was in High school, I was completely oblivious to what a blow job is. I was at a party and a guy i really like asked me for one. I didnt know what to do, so I got down there, put his limp penis in my mouth and blew on it. He shoved me off of him and stood in pain and anger. He then proceeded to fart out of his penis. it sounded like a queef. It danced. I'm so bad at sex.

Ok, so it was the night of new years of '08 and my girlfriend and I were in my basement. We were laying down fooling around and I somehow ended ontop of her. I pulled off her pants, she pulled down mine and we started. "Faster, faster" she whispered. I thought I was preforming well until after we were done she looks at me and says, "Am I still a virgin?" I'm so bad at sex.

Alright, so I was the guy in high school everyone said would get laid last, and at one point it seemed pretty obvious it was the case, until I met this one girl. It was the summer before grade 12, and drinking was quickly becoming a common thing to do on the weekend. So one night her parents were gone, there was a party at her house, we drank and had fun. Next thing I know she was taking me to the bedroom. I was pretty nervous, and excited. When finally came the time to put it in, the first thought that crossed my drunken mind was "it's so warm!". Then being so worried about how long I'd last, I looked at the clock, 2:51, or something like that. After some time (thinking this is fucking awesome) she turns to me and says "I can't do this." Pushes me off, puts on her clothes and leaves to the bathroom where she cried with her friends. She was still hooked on her ex-boyfriend, and couldn't stop thinking of him while I was on her. I ended up rubbing one out on her bedsheets, your move princess, your move. I'm so bad at sex.

i was working as a wakeboard instructor at a sleepaway summer camp one year and began flirting with one of the female counselors. Over time we got comfortable with eachother and began going out to the nearby bar after work. She was a cute blond with a slender but full body and some massive ta-ta's. One night after a couple of drinks she said she wanted sex so we drove back to the camp, i ran inside my bunk to get the key to the boathouse and stole one of my campers' little green blanket. We proceeded to head to the lake area and entered the tiny wooden shack. I locked the door and put the blanket on the floor. We began making out and she slowly took off my shirt. I sat her up and off cmae her bra and shirt which i threw into a sandy corner of the room. Everything was going well until she began to lie down on the blanket. As soon as her back hit, the once bountiful loaves of bread on her chest split to each side and looked like some kind of autistic lizard which promoted me to begin laughing uncontrollably. She quickly covered up and left me alone in the boathouse - till this day the story haunts me and i'm very wary of women with big breasts. This is why i am so bad at sex.