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While staying in a hostel in Europe I met this blonde, slighty tall and lanky older English broad. She was 28 at the time and I was only 20. She was a complete sugar momma and bought me drinks, drugs, and cabs all night long as we went from bar to bar. Things started to get hot and at about 8am we couldn't take the tease of making out, grinding and dry humping any longer so we decided to head back to the hostel. The cab driver keeps looking back at me sucking on her melons and says something like "hey kid, arent you lucky tonight"....how wrong he could have been...Once we get back to the hostel we run up to my room to commence sex. I open the door to my 12 person hostel room and everyone is awake.."your room?" I ask. We run down a few flights of stairs to her room, we open and the door and her 5 roomates all wake up....horny as fuck with nowhere to fuck we conclude that we should just have sex right there in the hallway.  She starts to blow me because I am incredibly flaccid and i get to about a 3/4 boner and start to fuck her doggy style on the carpet. I get serious rugburn and my limp dick falls out and she blows me again until i get it "somewhat" up. She proceeds to try and ride me, of course dick goes limp once again. She says "fuck you, im not giving you head anymore" and we both mutually gave up for night. I woke up after a long sleep in and as I walk downstairs all the hostel workers start clapping and laughng. I ask what this standing ovation is all about and they tell me "don't you know all the halls have cameras?". I'm so bad at sex

5bucks on May 26th, 2009 | Comments: 0

Sounds like you're good at sex (1)

Today me and my boyfriend of 6 months were having sex for the first time in two weeks so we were pretty excited, but apparently that didnt help much. I ended up getting on top and trying to get it in, apparently I tried a little too hard. When I pushed down more than i had the last time the skin on the underneath side of his dick literally ripped from the pull and he started bleeding everywhere, and had to have his friend come get him and bring him to the hospital. I'm so bad at sex.

suckit on May 26th, 2009 | Comments: 0

I have been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for a while. We'll call him Will. So, one day we decided I would go over his house to have sex. Once we're at his house we start making out and the foreplay starts.  But before he can cum from the blow job, he tells me he "really wants to fuck me" so he takes out a condom. I get on top and he cums in about 7 minutes. He goes in the bathroom, comes back and honestly I am pretty disappointed because the only thing attractive about him is his skill sexually and his dick size. So he lays back down on his bed and we proceed to make out again. I ask him if we can have sex again. He accepts my offer and grabs another condom, but this time tells me to flip over so he can fuck me from behind. He gets really into it and keeps going harder and harder. It feels really good, but then he decides to pull it all the way out and shove it all the way back in agian as hard as he could. This causes me to quief due to the trapped air in my vagina. To make matters worse he begins laughing and asks me what the noise was. He still won't believe me and thinks I farted during sex.  So much for great sex, because I am so bad at it.

umpaloompa on May 26th, 2009 | Comments: 2

Sounds like you're good at sex (1)

After my last relationship, I told myself I wasnt going to have sex for a while until I was sure about who I was with.  But then one day when I was feeling lonely I was at my on again off again ex-boyfriends house and he convinced me to mess around.  We get our clothes off and got going...then he stopped.  No less than 2 minutes after we started, he was DONE.  Seriously, 2 minutes.  He then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault, because I was too tight.  I cant even get some for 5 minutes.  I'm so bad at sex.

FML131 on May 26th, 2009 | Comments: 3

Tonight I had a girl over to watch a movie and hang out. One thing leads to another and we wind up on my bed getting frisky. I haven't been laid in over a month, since my girl broke up with me for another guy so I haven't been the most confident lately. I get the jimmy hat on and she goes on top, not even sixty seconds in and I slide out of her because I'm 100% flaccid. I'm so bad at sex

Verus on May 26th, 2009 | Comments: 1

So, me and my girlfriend of the time are alone at her house during school hours.  We're watching a movie and the inevitable set in, we start making out and clothes come off. We're both virgins, neither of us having done anything yet and we decide to take it a bit slowly, with me fingering her for a bit. She gets pretty into it, but I'm having issues doing the same because it smelled really bad down there. After she came once (all over my face), she asked me to continue and pulled my hand farther into her. My whole hand went inside her...to the wrist. I freaked out and pulled it out with a popping sound and went back to school. God I'm bad at sex.

Theoneandonly on May 25th, 2009 | Comments: 10

This occurred last night. I hadn't had sex in months and I'm not overly competent in the bedroom. A decent looking girl was into me at the bar, a little too into me. She begged me to take her home. Despite me being drunk I still only lasted a few minutes. But, she was oddly satisfied with my poor performance. We fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up to my entire bedroom being ransacked - my blackberry is gone, most of my clothes and my computer speakers are all gone. I'm currently posting this from my school library because she stole my laptop too. I'm so bad at sex.

rossp on May 25th, 2009 | Comments: 4

Last weekend I was fucking this Kate Hudson/Kathy Griffin looking sweety and was acting the ride pretty hard. Acting-the-ride is the phrase I just made up meaning to be on bottom but providing the motion, also known as the power bottom. Thrusting faster and faster I lost track of the length of me penis leading to a pull out of her cootch and an accidental but powerful final thrust into her anus. She let out a loud scream, rolled over, and started crying while shaking back and forth on the laundry room floor of my fraternity house crying and grabbing her ass. Once I noticed blood on her hands I drove her to the hospital and took her to the E.R. but had to carry her in my arms because she was in too much pain to walk. I told the doctor she was my girlfriend just so it wouldn't look as bad or as slutty for her which led the doctor to assume he should tell ME that she should only eat blended food and liquids for the next three to five weeks. When I dropped her off at her apartment I apologized and let her know about her new diet for the month of May. Yesterday I found out she was a virgin, I'm so bad at sex.

Sjc42 on May 23rd, 2009 | Comments: 4

Sounds like you're good at sex (3)

I was recently having a party at my cottage by a nearby lake. A girl that has been known to be a little bit freaky showed up and I decided that this was a prime opportunity.  Because my place was pretty crowded and the party was going strong, we decide to take it to my friend's jeep outside. Once inside she begins to perform some manual labour on me that could be compared to a 45 year old plumber going to town on me with a monkey wrench. I was beginning to get frustrated and decided it had to stop, so I proposed the idea of some friendly intercourse. After spending twenty or so minutes trying to somehow fit my manhood inside of her "hoo-hoo" (which was far from clean shaven).  After developing major rugburn, I realize that this is not one of my favourite sexual encounters to date. Finally she gets on top of my saliva-doused person and starts to git-r-done. After less than two minutes, I noticed a pool of fluid gathering in my belly button. I realized that this was some genuine female love juice and along with my belly it was all over the jeep. The intoxication kicked in and I started laughing hysterically. The laughter however did not last long as she began to lick it out of my belly button, and wipe some of it that had dripped into my ass crack. I was so freaked out that I am still too scared to talk to her.  The next day my friend received a compliment on the jeep as his grandma told him that she liked the smell of it.  I'm so bad at sex.

4fingers on May 22nd, 2009 | Comments: 0

Sounds like you're good at sex (1)

I was watching a movie with my girlfriend in her bed. Her father left for work so we were alone in the apartment. I start kissing/feeling her thinking "Woot! I'll lose my virginity!", then her cat enters the room, makes a fucking gruesome roar and starts throwing up a huge mess that looks like catfood mixed with blood. She left to get the cat to the vet.  That was the last time I ever saw her again. I think about her all the time, and I'm still a virgin.  I'll never know if I'm so bad at sex.

buggers on May 22nd, 2009 | Comments: 1